1. How Women can get what they want in a Negotiation
(i) Preparing Fully
- gather salary data to see what you are worth
- explain your achievements and capabilities that warrant a higher salary
- come up with acceptable alternatives
(ii) Cultivating Positive Emotions
- positive thinking can lead to positive outcomes
(iii) Boosting Emotional Intelligence
- being aware of one's own emotions and the emotions of others
- how to develop EI? - thru mindfulness; paying attention to the present moment
(iv) Negotiating Communally
- negotiate as if you are doing so on behalf of a group
- use "I- we" strategy where you show concern for the other person's perspective (show them a win- win outcome)
(v) Negotiating a package
- look to other aspects, paid time off or allowance, performance bonus
2. How to Tell if a Company's Culture is Right for you
(i) Interview your Prospective Colleagues
- get to know key workers who you will form key working relationships with
- Ask: "what are you working on at the moment?"
" what gets in the way?"
"what do you want to achieve?"
- Pay close attention to the kind of people you will be meeting
(ii) Get to know your boss
- understand what makes this person ticks and what it will be like working for them
- Ask: "what does success look like here?"
"vision for the organisation?"
"6 month down the road, what are your expectations?"
(iii) Interview outside Sources
- Reach out to people who knows the company, be it Consultants, Auditors, Lawyers, Contractors and Suppliers
- Ask: opinion on people who work there
their working style
why people leave
turnover rate
what happened to the last person who left
(iv) Think beyond the initial offer
- talk to the hiring manager about the potential paths
- Ask: able to move into other functions as your career progresses
training and development opportunities
what kind of high- potential programs the company offers
(v) Be Introspective
- trust your judgement and make a decision
3. How People with Different Conflict Styles can Work together
(i) You are both Avoiders
- what typically happens: Both of you take no action
You may tamp down feelings that could explode later on
- What to do: One of you needs to take the lead
State directly the fact that neither of us likes conflict. Instead of ignoring the problem, what can we do about it?
Do your best to draw the other person out in a sensitive, thoughtful way
(ii) You are both Seekers
- What typically happens: neither of you is afraid to say what is on your mind
The discussion can easily turn contentious
In the heat of the moment, you might end up saying things you don't actually believe
you both feel disrespected
- What to do: Know that you are likely to feel impatient. Schedule your conversation in way that allows both of you to take breaks
Suggest coffee breaks or change of scenery to even out the emotions
(iii) You are a Seeker and your CP is an Avoider
- What typically happens: you tend to bulldoze your CP into agreeing with you
Your CP may act passive aggressively to get their point across
- What to do: Don't be a bully
Be patient with the pace of the conversation
Ask the person to participate actively in the conversation and not hide their opinions
(iv) You are an Avoider and they are a Seeker
- What typically happens: You might be tempted to play the role of the good guy and go along with what your CP wants
You might get trampled by your CP requests
- What to do: Explicitly ask for what you need, "to have a productive conversation, I need you to be patient with me and watch the tone and volume of your voice"
Be direct and to the point
Don't signal disrespect
4. How to Deal with the Know- It- All in your Office
(i) If the person is a Colleague
- Consider your relationship - if you are on good terms, have a conversation
- If not, best not to speak out, less you seem acting like a know- it- all yourself
(ii) If the person is your Boss
- if it is a small matter, just leave it alone
- if your boss is wrong, try these:
ask, "have you ever..." to prompt them to show evidence of them being successful
Delay for data - give yourself time to back off and collect evidence to back you up before you speak to your boss again to convince
Look for the risk - tell your boss that you will do a risk assessments and speak to him/ her again
- remember to give the boss credit (don't forget to give yourself too)
5. 4 Ways to Deal with a Toxic Coworker
(i) Have an honest, candid conversation with the person
- focus on the impact the person is having on you
- ask for feedback for your own behaviour as well
(ii) Raise your own game, and keep your ego in check
- don't stoop to their level
- watch and manage your flight or fight response
- focus on team goals instead of thinking who will win with the toxic fight
(iii) Talk to your boss
(iv) Take care of yourself
- own what you can get
- let go of what you cannot influence
- make a change if you have to
6. Playing Office Politics Without Selling Your Soul
Political skills can be broken down into 4 dimensions
(i) Social Astuteness
- the ability to read other people and self- awareness to understand how they see you
(ii) Interpersonal Influence
- first by understanding them and then personalising your message to appeal to their cause
(iii) Networking Ability
- diverse people
(iv) Apparent Sincerity
- be honest, open and forthright
7. 7 Tricky Work Situations, and How to Respond to Them
(i) Someone takes credit for your ideas
- Say: "thanks for spotlighting my point, (insert name). There are a couple of other topics worth considering in tandem with this. I'll review those quickly and we can delve into more detail in the next meeting."
(ii) You are asked to stay late when you are about to leave the office for a personal obligation
- Say: "Excuse me, I have another commitment"
"it is something that I committed to long before this meeting was scheduled. I'll swing by tomorrow to get caught up."
(iii) In a pivotal situation, a trusted colleague snaps at you
- Say: "this isn't about what you do for me. It is about what you did to me."
(iv) You have to say "no"
- Say: "this is a good launching point. I'll get my team together to prepare the data, and reach out to you with ideas of how we can approach xxx..."
(v) You have to give negative or awkward feedback to someone you are close with
- Say: "I'm here for you what someone once was for me"
(vi) You need to push back on a decision you believe is wrong
- Say: "this is my preference"
(vii) You need to escalate a serious issue
- Say: "your response gives me cause to take this further"
8. How to Work with a Manipulative Person
(i) Be sceptical about receiving too much special attention
- manipulators often present themselves as allies or confidantes
- they are skilled at assessing which employees are sophisticated and confident enough to stand on their own and which ones are eager to please or easy to shame
- In particular, if someone treats you as their favourite - but includes little digs that make you feel bad about yourself, puts you down when talking to others, or pressures you to act against your own interests to stay on their side
(ii) Be willing to risk small public confrontation
- sometimes the only way to expose a manipulator's manoeuvring is by confronting them in the moment
(iii) Refuse to keep secrets or to act as interpreter in ways that normalise underhanded behaviour
- these schemers may treat you like a trusted insider, feeding you titbits about other people's inadequacies and failures, as if only you have the perspective and discretion to understand what's important.
- Don't be taken in by the implied flattery. Ask for details and specifics to fliush out their intent: "I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Why are you telling me this? What is it you are asking me to do?"
9. How to Deal with Difficult People
(i) Don't react
- take yourself mentally to a place where you can look down objectively on the dispute and plan your response
(ii) Disarm them by stepping to their side
- try to understand the other person's point of view
- ask questions and show genuine curiousity
(iii) Change the game: Don't reject - reframe
(iv) Make it easy to say Yes
- build a golden bridge
- look for ways to help your opponent save face and feel that he is getting his way, at least in some matters
(v) Make it hard to say No
- educate your opponent about the situation
- if he understands the consequences and your alternatives, he may be open to reason
10. What to do when a Coworker goes over your Head
(i) Question your assumption
- ask yourself, "are there different ways to explain what happened?"
(ii) Find out more
- try to find out what happened
(iii) Approach your colleague
- ask if the two of you can talk - preferably in a private room
(iv) State your position
- e.g. "I heard you talked to Roger about your initiative after we discussed it and that made me feel a bit concerned that we are not communicating well". Then ask for his perspective
(v) Problem solve, together
(vi) Clarify the lines of communcation
- discuss how to handle similar situations in the future
(vii) Repair your relationship with your boss
- sit down with your manager to talk about what happened, why it happened, and how to avoid similar situation in the future
11. How to Handle a Colleague who's a Jerk when the Boss isn't around
(i) Recognise that this is not about you
- it may be due to the colleagues' lack of self- awareness, insecurities or past experiences
(ii) Don't play the game back
(iii) Keep it constructive with your colleague
- Have the conversation in a private place. Signal that you are aiming for course correction and not trying to go to war
(iv) Learn from your colleague and make it your own
- there is usually a personal reason that a colleague annoys us - it is smart to try to learn from that
- consider how your coworker serves as a mirror for things you might not like about yourself
- rather than painting all of the person's behaviour as negative, think about the positive skills he is demonstrating - framing, storytelling, asking great questions, strategic thinking, letting others know his capabilities
12. What to do when you are the target of a hurtful office rumour
(i) Regulate your negative emotions
- calm down - breathe, being mindful, unplug from work, working out, take a walk
(ii) Expand your perspective
- in order to figure out a constructive solution, we need to snap out of a negative mindset
- ask yourself what does success mean to you in the moment?
(iii) Practice self- compassion - and even forgiveness
(iv) De- identify from the situation
- recognise that the situation is not necessarily a reflection of you
(v) Consider how to respond
- if you know who is behind the rumours, you can offer your perspective to the lead gossip
13. Yes, you can make office politics less toxic
(i) The Openness Principle
- political behaviour is based on an assumption of mistrust
- be open and communicate directly
(ii) Return to Camelot
- Open up your own motives for examination
- Abandon collusion
(iii) Own the meeting
- If i am acting it out, I'll talk it out
14. 4 ways to get honest, critical feedback from your employees
(i) Ask your coworkers to push back
- ask your team members, "how do you feel that went, and what could I have done differently?"
(ii) Read non-verbal clues
(iii) Monitor how you narrate the story
- force yourself to consider alternative explanations
- watch out if you are being overly self critical or doing too much self justifying
(iv) Know your triggers and encourage others to call them out
15. The Antidote to Office Gossip
- gossip is born out of uncertainty
- the antidote is open and honest communication with your employees
(i) Give them the Low- Down
- if there is a big change in the company, and if the change is not communicated clearly to the employees, it can be a trip wire
- be sure to quickly fill the void with facts
(ii) Get the Scoop from Employees
- ask questions/ seek feedback from your employees before, during, and after the process
- by asking questions early and regularly, you will signal to your employees that you value their feedback
(iii) Always wear white
- means to be mindful of mudslinging
- the more you know someone, the less likely you are to malign them
(iv) Be a role model
- if you model integrity in what you say and do, your employees will likely follow suit
16. How to Deal with a Boss who Behaves Unpredictably
(i) Don't take it personally
- it is not that you annoy the person. Usually it's that you have said something that has triggered a larger issue for them
- try to listen to what they are saying, not how they are saying it
(ii) Look for Triggers and Patterns
(iii) Be thoughtful about your timing - be situationally aware
- find the right time to ask
(iv) Stay Calm
- don't swing back and respond with an outburst
(v) Offer some strategic gratitude
- when you see that your boss is close to losing it, try send an email that says, "I'm really grateful for your help in this particular matter" or offering a genuine apology for having approached them at a difficult time or for committing your own mistake
(vi) Know when to get help and when move on
- don't suffer in silence. If it affects your work, bring it up with HR
17. How to Deal with a Passive- Aggressive Boss
(i) Anticipate and Prepare
- set parameters and clarify expectations in advance rather than be blindsided
(ii) Don't stoop to their level
-you get far more respect by being the bigger person
- as best you can, adopt a compassionate rather than angry posture toward them
(iii) Respectfully call the question
- give your boss the benefit of doubt by saying, "I have noticed in the last several meetings you have made sarcastic remarks about the quality of my work. I didn't give it a thought after the first time, but now it has happened a few times. I just wanted to check in with you, if you have any ideas how I can improve.
18. 6 Ways to take Control of your Career Development if your company doesn't care about it
(i) Understand what you are evaluated on
- what does success look like in your position
- what are your job goals and metrics
(ii) Solve your own blind spots
- routinely seek feedback from your boss, peers and subordinates
(iii) Codify your learnings
- keep a journal. List the 5 skills or competencies you need to develop in your position and rate yourself
(iv) Increase your visibility with the C suite
- volunteering for initiatives such as charity work, company events
(v) Become an expert in an area of increasing importance to your company
(vi) Seek good counsel and mentoring
- try an informal way of meeting such as the coffee shop. Know the person's bio and be prepared to ask a few good questions related to their area of expertise
19. How to Respond to an Offensive Comment at Work
(i) Do
- if you don't speak up, you are signalling that this is OK
- recognise that if you are in a position of power, you have a responsibility to address offensive comments
- ask questions that helps the person reflect on what they said and clear up any misunderstandings
(ii) Don't
- Neglect to think through the political costs, especially if you are the target of the comment
- assume the person meant to offend you or anyone else
- accuse some one of being biased
20. What to do when you don't feel valued at work
(i) Be realistic - ask yourself whether you are being realistic about the amount of appreciation you expect from your boss, colleagues or clients
- when you are feeling unappreciated, run a 'personal litmus test' on your recent accomplishments
- ask yourself, is my work extraordinary? If I had to ask for credit, would I sound like a jerk?
(ii) Talk to your boss
- Be subtle, say, "I'd like to talk about the past 3 months and get a sense of where my strengths lie and where I could learn."
- Come prepared with specific examples; a list of recent achievements
(iii) Increase your team's visibility
- it's ok to use "I"
- make sure everyone's name goes on the work product
(iv) Recognise others' contributions
- one surefire way to get your own work noticed is to praise and appreciate others
(v) Validate yourself
- intrinsic motivators are more powerful
- try to carve out time at the end of each week to reflect on what went well and what didn't go well
(vi) Consider moving on
- if you continue to feel undervalued and unappreciated by your company, it might be a sign to move on
21. How to Win Over a Boss Who Just Doesn't Seem to Like You
(i) Look for warning signs
- if they start to lose trust in you, they will become prescriptive in their guidance
(ii) Act quickly
- pay attention to that first time the boss's guidance feels very prescriptive or more precise than you expected. You are still in the 'forgiveness zone'.
- ask them whether there was something you did recently that triggered their feedback
- have them explain what they would have done differently in that situation
(iii) Understand your boss's priorities
- it usually starts with one event. You likely hit one of boss's hot buttons.
(iv) Watch your boss's nonverbal cues
- observe what annoys them and what they praise
- see which individuals engage them well, and ask yourself what it is about them that the boss finds so engaging
- look at the boss's style of running meetings and the level if candor and pushback between the boss and the meeting participants
22. How to Highlight Your Talents in a Job Interview Without Showing Off
(i) Briefly quantify your most relevant experience
- keep it brief
- people who talk too much about themselves are often perceived as self-centred, arrogant, or even narcissistic
(ii) Speak about your passion rather than your skills
- if you say you are a 'great leader', people will assume that you are not. However, if you report that you really enjoy managing team, thinking of unconventional ways of doing things, it may at least suggest to others that you could have some talent in those areas.
(iii) Focus on your potential
- 3 main areas to discuss - learning ability, drive and people skills
- demonstrate these things with concrete examples
(iv) Turn your fan into advocates
- your reputation is made of what others (not you) think of you
- it is therefore obvious that you are better off being promoted by others than promoting yourself
No comments:
Post a Comment